My Top Ten List

Everyone everywhere else is putting together their top ten lists for 2007—movies, books, Youtube videos—and had I an expertise in anything other than myself, I’d offer up my own collection of greatest hits for the year just ending; however, since the only movie I saw this year that’s made any of the collections I’ve seen is Ratatatouille, and since I don’t think I bought a single new record in the past 12 months, and although I did get for Christmas Tom Perotta’s new novel, The Abstinence Teacher, I’ve yet to read it, all I can offer up in the way of a “best of” for 2007 is essays from my collected 327 Words a day. To wit:

Last January 1, I wrote about the Bike Ride of Shame, the occasional phenomenon whereby I ride my bike in the morning to pick up the car I was too inebriated to drive home the previous night.

February’s best was the report of the Fucking Hills Race, but Tofu Sandwich and Waffle Rideweren’t bad, either.

Punk was the best of March, besting the report of my turning Fifty.

For April, it was Filmed by Bike, but maybe because it was so much fun in real life.

My favorite from May was Atomic Power and LSD, although Larry found it too hippy-dippy.

June’s best was Put Your Whole Self In, speaking of hippy-dippy.

For the rest of summer, I’m going with Disneyland.

September’s best were Aged Whine and Slugbug both of which were tossed off rather haphazardly. A lesson there?

Resiliency—which I spelled wrong until corrected—is my favorite from October, I'm an Amateur a close second.

Give me Album Covers, Deathtrap II, and Ammo Day in November.

Finally, this last month, I’m taking Trailer Tree, I Miss the Seventies,and Holiday Chunder, which wins for best title of the year.

Admittedly, this list is more than 10; I count 19, but combined, that’s only a total of 6213 words.