2010

Everyone should find something no one else does; then like I am with the 327-word essay, you can become the undisputed global master of the form.

It’s odd in a way to be world champ, but perhaps odder still when there’s no competition whatsoever. Nevertheless, there’s something vaguely satisfying about being number one at anything, even if it’s entirely trivial.

At the very least, your opinions on the matter get to stand as THE opinions. Thus, my top ten (well, top twelve, actually) list of this year’s postings really means something. It’s like having Ella Fitzgerald in her prime pick the top twelve Ella songs. Or George W. choose the dozen worst moments in his presidency.

So, without further ado:

January gets “Backwards,” my .83 ride account nod to the film “Memento.”

For February, I’ve got to go with “Lived to Tell,” but perhaps some of my affection for it is that tehSchkott didn’t die. Carry on.

March’s winner is “Easy,” a simple tale of how to have a great 53rd birthday.

For April, I present “Hungry,” a surrealistic menu fantasy.

May, I admit, seems a bit sparse; nevertheless, “Trailer Love,” including the picture by Steve Hanson deserves my nod.

I like “Perfect” best in June, but again, it could just be the memory of the occasion that I’m responding to.

July’s best piece is “Agnosognosia,” about a condition which any of us might have although, by definition, none of us would know it.

In August, it’s “Mystery,” who knows why?

Best of September is “Unbelievable;” it may not be the best writing, but it wins for the most amazing story of the year, maybe of all time. I’m not even sure I believe it.

“Gravity” is the winning entry for October; I still even think it’s funny.

November? “Democracy.” And because I rule here, I can say so.

I don’t really know what to say about December; it’s too close; I guess I’ll go with “Grrr.”