Hungry

I was kinda hungry when I woke up yesterday morning, so I had a corn muffin with my coffee. That tasted so good that I followed it up with a scone. Then it was time to get Mimi and Jen up, so I bought some bagels and cream cheese to go with their tea and orange juice respectively. Naturally, they couldn’t finish them, so I did. While waiting for the train about an hour later, I had a bag of nuts, but all the salt made me want something creamy, so I ate a burrito with sour cream. But you can’t eat Mexican food without chips and salsa, so I had to have an order of them, too. And a couple beers. Then, though, I was feeling a little tipsy, so I had a cheese sandwich to sober up. By the time we got back to Seattle, I was ready for a tofu bhan mi from the Saigon deli; they’re so small and tasty, though, I chowed down two. When we got home, there were some leftovers in the fridge that seemed like they were on the verge, so down the maw they went, too. And then those sweet pickles behind the Tupperware containers I cleaned out—I can’t resist them, especially on Saltines with some spicy hot mustard, so I didn’t, half a pack of the crackers later. Now I was getting kinda sleepy, though, but not sleepy enough; half a tumbler of bourbon helped though, but sour mash always makes me crave celery, so I mixed up a salad of greens with some homemade croutons and some blue cheese, which really tastes great when you add sunflower seeds; I saw no reason not to do that. Pretty soon, I was ready for bed, so I brushed my teeth and chewed up my toothbrush for a midnight snack. Then I ate a bar of soap. And drank a bottle of shampoo. I slept a dreamless sleep.