Monday, September 15, 2008

Stoner Idea

Here’s how we can help the economy, curb illegal drug use, assist the American farmer, contribute to the reduction of greenhouse gases, provide meaningful employment to skilled and unskilled workers alike, and increase sales of sugar, spice, and everything nice in corner stores and supermarkets across the nation: legalize cannabis butter!

It would be way simpler than decriminalizing marijuana outright; the policy here would be that, as long as the THC is embedded in butter—and I want to say not margarine, let’s stick to real dairy products—then it would be legal to sell, transport, and possess. People could then use the product—whose strength could easily be determined and regulated just like alcohol content in distilled spirits—as they see fit, in cookies, shortbread, fried eggs or whatever.

Moreover, for those who prefer not to do their own cooking, big food-producing companies like Kraft and General Mills, (and smaller ones like local bakeries and sweet shops) could create snack foods that could be consumed to feed the very food cravings that they create! Talk about effective brand marketing.

I see a couple additional advantages to this strategy, too.

First, legalizing bud butter would likely reduce the incidence of public marijuana smoking, arguably the least socially-acceptable aspect of cannabis use. Instead of wannabe gang-bangers hanging out the windows of their Escalades with blunts dangling from their lips, you’d be more likely to see them turned out in aprons in their kitchens, comparing recipes for Rice Krispy squares and snickerdoodles.

Second, since pot to be turned into butter doesn’t need to be as strong as dope intended to be smoked, legalizing bud butter would reduce the need for high-tech grow houses with all their attendant social and environmental problems.

Third, my dad’s biggest complaint about pot would be addressed. He preferred alcohol to marijuana because, he said, a person could drink simply because s/he enjoyed the taste, not for the effect; those who love brownies and shortbread could argue likewise.


Blogger Arnica Montana said...

thats a great....
what were we talking about?

1:34 PM  

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