Sunday, April 01, 2012


I’m pleased to say that nobody put salt in the sugar bowl today, not that it would have made much of a difference given that I’m no longer drinking coffee even though it would make sense since I’ve taken up smoking cigarettes, but only while driving my brand-new Hummer; it’s cool!

I was on my way to church this morning when it occurred to me that I’d better start campaigning harder for Ron Paul if I’m going to do my part to get him elected President in November; perhaps my new friends down that the gun range, where I spent a few restful hours last night will join me in the effort.

After this morning’s service, I drove the two blocks to McDonald’s; you know, a Big Mac with an apple pie goes down really nicely with a Big Gulp from 7-11; I don’t know why I’ve resisted them all these years; now that I’m a three-times-a-day meat-eater, though, you can be sure I’ll be making up for lost time.

Speaking of which, now that I’ve bought a new Android smartphone, which connects seamlessly to my Window-based home computer, I can get a lot more done, especially on my morning commute. No more bike and bus for me; I’m driving!

If I seem a little distracted, I apologize; I’m just so excited about the Academy of Country Music Awards on TV tonight; I sure do hope Kenny Chesney wins the entertainer of the year; I have all his albums and videos and would really like to bear his children if I could. I admit that I’m being unfaithful to Carrie Underwood, but I still love her to death, too. If only they both could win!

I think I’ll settle down with a cup of chamomile tea; I’ve been drinking it pretty much non-stop ever since I went on the wagon last week; it’s really good with Splenda as a sweeter.

Anyway, happy April, everyone, and Go Yankees!


Blogger Deb's Lunch said...

Damn Spankees.

10:08 AM  

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