Tuesday, March 24, 2009

March Madness

I’m coo-coo for Cocoa Puffs! Mad as a hatter! Crazy from the heat! And nutty as a fruitcake!

The voices in my head keep telling the voices in my head about the voices in their heads all of my multiple personalities are schizophrenic, at least.

You think Charles Manson was a lunatic. Or Hannibal Lecter. Or Jeffrey Dahmer with his taste for human flesh. Those guys go nothing on me! I’m so deranged that I eat cottage cheese right outta container. And then I throw that same container right into the recycling bin!

It must be the season…of the witch! Or is that the what? Or the who? Whom?

Vroom-vroom! My brains are spilling out my ears. And get these friggin’ bugs offa me!

Aladdin Sane, right Bowie? Bowie! Fuckin’ Bowie, man. David? Or is that Jim? Look out! He’s got a Bowie knife! He’s got HIS knife!

Doesn’t scare me, though, I’m Napoleon. My body is purple and my head is made of glass. So bilious are the vapors that confound me that I must be dreaming that I’m dreaming!

I sure hope nobody is reading this; otherwise, they might get the wrong idea, as if any idea could be wrong. My primary concern is that someone might think I’m paranoid. But why would they? More to the point, why wouldn’t they?

The lunatic is on the grass, ahahahahaha! The lunatic IS the grass! The lunatic is up your ass! Ahahahaha.

But in saner moments, cooler heads prevail…and then are shaved, lathered up, and have electrodes applied to them. Just for fun. For shits and giggles. For nobody’s business but my own.

Crazy? Crazy? It is not I who am crazy! It is I who am mad! Don’t make me use this! Don’t! Back off man! Back off!

But seriously, too bad about the Huskies losing in the second round; they wuz robbed! Ticky-tack fouls on Overton; that sucked ballz.

Wait till next year…if you dare!


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