Fill It Up
Barring accident, illness, or hemlock (perhaps the only reasonable option should the Republicans retain the White House this November), I’ve probably got somewhere between thirty and fifty years of my life left to go.
On the one hand—in geological time, for instance—this is a mere drop in the chronological bucket, but on the other—say, if I were standing in line at the DMV—this is essentially an eternity; on the order of 300,000 hours, at least.
So, how am I going to fill up all this time—notwithstanding the fifteen or twenty minutes I spend most days crafting another exceptional, life-changing, 327 word essay?
Good news is, I can probably count on being asleep for about a third of the total, so apart from those moments I lie awake at 3:00 to 4:00 in the morning as my brain races trying to solve all the problems in the world, it’s probably only like about 200,000 hours I’ve really got to worry about.
Eating and excreting can be expected to take up a certain daily toll, and what with preparation and washing up, let’s say we take away another quarter of the total.
Optimistically, I’m gonna take away another one-fourth with bicycle riding and doing yoga; now I’m down to a mere 100,000 left to fill; and I can easily waste half that just poking around the internet..
Then there’s shopping, and watching DVDs, and trips to the library for books that I put on my shelf and never finish. Walking the dog occasionally has to fit in there somewhere, and watching football on TV if the Steelers are playing.
Taking all those into account leaves me, as best as I can figure, with somewhere on the order of a day and a half that isn’t already spoken for. I might use some of this to get drunk and pass out or I might just squander it altogether; clearly time’s a wasting, so I’ll wrap this up right now.
On the one hand—in geological time, for instance—this is a mere drop in the chronological bucket, but on the other—say, if I were standing in line at the DMV—this is essentially an eternity; on the order of 300,000 hours, at least.
So, how am I going to fill up all this time—notwithstanding the fifteen or twenty minutes I spend most days crafting another exceptional, life-changing, 327 word essay?
Good news is, I can probably count on being asleep for about a third of the total, so apart from those moments I lie awake at 3:00 to 4:00 in the morning as my brain races trying to solve all the problems in the world, it’s probably only like about 200,000 hours I’ve really got to worry about.
Eating and excreting can be expected to take up a certain daily toll, and what with preparation and washing up, let’s say we take away another quarter of the total.
Optimistically, I’m gonna take away another one-fourth with bicycle riding and doing yoga; now I’m down to a mere 100,000 left to fill; and I can easily waste half that just poking around the internet..
Then there’s shopping, and watching DVDs, and trips to the library for books that I put on my shelf and never finish. Walking the dog occasionally has to fit in there somewhere, and watching football on TV if the Steelers are playing.
Taking all those into account leaves me, as best as I can figure, with somewhere on the order of a day and a half that isn’t already spoken for. I might use some of this to get drunk and pass out or I might just squander it altogether; clearly time’s a wasting, so I’ll wrap this up right now.
posted by Professor Dave at 11:18 AM
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