Report
Let the record show that I hated disco when it was actually happening.
Like all right-minded folks, I maintained “disco sucks,” and listened exclusively to new wave and punk music: bands like Devo, the Talking Heads, and the Clash.
More than three decades later, though, I’m a fan, at least when it comes to choosing a theme for a bike race, as well as an outfit to wear when putting it on.
The 327 Words Studio 54 Disco Time Trial went off in fine fashion, with 33 riders setting forth, and all but six finishing. The weather was suitably crummy, with rain showers pelting the southern part of the route, but no one got killed, even though the Angry Hippy was attacked by a crazy hobo downtown, for no apparent reason, and with fortunately, no lasting damage other than to his bicycle’s rear wheel.
Tall Jace, riding a single-speed and subsisting only on bananas and water, was the winner, finishing almost two minutes ahead of second-place rider, the surprisingly fast Kevin Septor, who credited his success to knowing where to go, especially Haulin’ Colin’s shop on 5th Avenue South, not 6th Avenue, as the race manifest mistakenly indicated.
My favorite story was of the group of stoned riders who ascended the south steps of the Volunteer Park water tower and, upon descending the north ones, looked around and were convinced, at least momentarily, that their bikes had all been stolen.
I also loved thinking that third-place finisher Small Fred won’t be celebrating his 54th birthday until the year 2044, at which time, no doubt, races like this will finally be run using jet packs and anti-gravity belts.
My heartfelt thanks to all the folks who performed checkpoint duty and my deepest gratitude to all the sponsors, notably New Belgium Brewery who provided a keg of beer (that for the first time ever, we didn’t finish) and to Vapolution Vaporizers, whose grand prize Ben failed again to win.
Like all right-minded folks, I maintained “disco sucks,” and listened exclusively to new wave and punk music: bands like Devo, the Talking Heads, and the Clash.
More than three decades later, though, I’m a fan, at least when it comes to choosing a theme for a bike race, as well as an outfit to wear when putting it on.
The 327 Words Studio 54 Disco Time Trial went off in fine fashion, with 33 riders setting forth, and all but six finishing. The weather was suitably crummy, with rain showers pelting the southern part of the route, but no one got killed, even though the Angry Hippy was attacked by a crazy hobo downtown, for no apparent reason, and with fortunately, no lasting damage other than to his bicycle’s rear wheel.
Tall Jace, riding a single-speed and subsisting only on bananas and water, was the winner, finishing almost two minutes ahead of second-place rider, the surprisingly fast Kevin Septor, who credited his success to knowing where to go, especially Haulin’ Colin’s shop on 5th Avenue South, not 6th Avenue, as the race manifest mistakenly indicated.
My favorite story was of the group of stoned riders who ascended the south steps of the Volunteer Park water tower and, upon descending the north ones, looked around and were convinced, at least momentarily, that their bikes had all been stolen.
I also loved thinking that third-place finisher Small Fred won’t be celebrating his 54th birthday until the year 2044, at which time, no doubt, races like this will finally be run using jet packs and anti-gravity belts.
My heartfelt thanks to all the folks who performed checkpoint duty and my deepest gratitude to all the sponsors, notably New Belgium Brewery who provided a keg of beer (that for the first time ever, we didn’t finish) and to Vapolution Vaporizers, whose grand prize Ben failed again to win.
posted by Professor Dave at 2:35 PM
1 Comments:
Jeez, David, that picture of you in your disco attire outside 2020 cyle is fucking scarey - you look like an aging '70s slimeball, leathery tanned face and fake bling and all.
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