Beer Summit

I’ve been wracking my brain trying to figure out what I can do or say to create enough of a tempest in a teapot to have President Obama invite me for a beer; I love that this is the endgame in the unfortunate incident at Henry Louis Gates’ house last week; (you’d have to have been living under a rock to not know what I’m referring to—although as hot as it’s been these last few days in Seattle, that wouldn’t be such a bad place to reside.)

Endless bytes and soundbites have been wasted on post-mortems to the arrest and Obama’s subsequent comments about it; “stupidity” abounds on the part of nearly all parties involved. Apparently, people are even getting worked up over the possible beer choices for the meeting; all this demonstrates to me is how race remains a potent issue in this country, and one that probably brings out the stupidity in all of us.

While I imagine that the event will be tightly-scripted and extremely congenial, I think it would be cool if they’d encourage everybody to take more than just a single beer; I’d like them all to get wasted—do shotguns and kegstands—and find out what they all really think.

Plus, it’s too bad it’s Gates who’s representing academia; I think his old colleague, Cornel West would be a far more entertaining choice.

But back to controversy I could generate to be invited to hoist a few with Barack: maybe I could inflame the old Mac vs. PC holy war; or perhaps I could get in a fight with a cop over which company makes superior bike components, Shimano or Campagnolo. Or, I know, let me stoke the flames of ire between fans of Oasis and fans of Blur. Or, for that matter, maybe Christina Aguilera vs. Eminem.

Ultimately the best battle before beer might be over beer itself; I’ll insist Rolling Rock reigns supreme; who’s gonna fight for Bud?