Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Anticipation

I can’t believe we’re only a week away from that date you’ve been seeing on the bumper stickers on Subarus and Priuses around town for the last eighteen months or so: 1/20/09, the last day of George Bush’s term, but already, I fear, people are getting at least a little bit disillusioned with his replacement, old whatshisname from Chicago.

Not me, though, at least not yet. I’m going to give Obama a nice long honeymoon period—a month, minimum—before I start complaining. And every good thing he does—like I sure do hope he comes through with that executive order to shut down Guantanamo—earns him extra time, like on a videogame when you blow up a bunch of spaceships or something, although it would also be great if he shut down the Stars Wars Defense program, too.

So what do we have to look forward to in the next seven days? (Besides the Steelers game on Sunday, of course.) Presumably, we’ll get to enjoy the spectacle of President Bush trying to salvage his “legacy” in one way or another while simultaneously pretending that his record stands on its own.

Of course, it does in a way and that way, as everyone knows is: Worst. President. Ever.

Astute readers—and my good friend, Arnica Montana, too—will observe at this point that I’m doing my level best (what is “level” best, anyway? Is there such a thing as unbalanced best?) to fill up the remaining eighty or so words on this 327 word essay, but enlightened readers—and good old Arnica—will also recognize that there’s a method to such madness, which is clearly to model the way in which all of us are merely biding time for the next 188 hours or so until finally, we no longer have to look at old monkey face standing behind the Presidential seal (monkey-seal!) of the United Damn States of America.

A long week ahead, but nothing compared to the endless eight years we’ve been through.

6 Comments:

Blogger Deb's Lunch said...

Funny, "Anticipation" regarding Obama's inauguration was the headline of a story in one of the Madison newspapers today - we used to have an afternoon paper, the Capital Times, the liberal paper, and it is now a Wednesday insert in the regular daily, the WI State Journal - and that's where the word was - about how Democrats & liberals & African Americans just can't wait for Obama to be prez.

7:43 AM  
Anonymous Scott said...

Hope you're coming out for the Inauguration Day Formal ride on Tuesday with the crew.

10:29 AM  
Blogger Arnica Montana said...

A double dis!

On guard, sir. Nobody but Arnica's wife, his mom, his friends, his boss, and life in general, can insult Arnica like that.

1:34 PM  
Anonymous Jeff Adams said...

"Author"-

Calling my dear friend and world famous celebrity blogger Arnica Montana ignorant and unenlightened, thus inspiring his hoards of devoted followers to visit to your "blog," is a brilliant way to attract quality readership! I salute your ingenious plan!

Unfortunately, this quality reader finds your "blog" to be little more than an OCD sufferers act of mental masturbation. EVERY damned post of yours lasts an excruciating yet creativity stifling 327 words? Exactly? What kind of artificial-constraint loving freak does that to himself and his readers? Arnica Montana conveys more in a single obscenity than you've said in any of your fluff-added posts!

Please join a BDSM club and get this unnatural need for RESTRAINT out of your system some other way, and free the rest of us from your fixed-length blathering.

And I just checked -- two of your posts aren't even 327 words! I accuse you of miscounting!

(But I will not tell you which two posts. There, that should keep you busy for a while.)

You are on notice! I have "subscribed" to your "RSS feed" in my "aggregator" and will henceforth scour each and every one of your future posts for any further negativity aimed in the direction of my good friend and world famous celebrity blogger Arnica Montana.

Please do not reply to this comment, as I doubt I could endure the hundred of words of aimless, run-on, comma-chaining parenthetical digressions you would vomit up trying to reach your "quota" of words, after you got done calling me a monkey face.

Jeff Adams

7:01 PM  
Blogger dashap said...

253 words, "Jeff." Just another 74 for you to go!

7:51 PM  
Anonymous Jeff Adams said...

How frustrating that must be for you!

4:38 AM  

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