Softball

For some years, I was the coach of a softball team at a software company I worked at; we were called the Joysticks, and got written up in the Santa Fe paper as probably the worst team ever in that league—deservedly so: it took us to the 8th game of the season not to get “mercy-ruled,” and in one game we played, the opposing team batted around three times in the first inning, finishing their half of the frame ahead,, 22-0.

Then, I played on the Philosophy Department team at the UW; all the requisite jokes are appropriate: we used to wonder what it really meant to win and, one time, a philosopher who argued that a priori knowledge—that is, knowledge that comes to us without the aid of sensory impressions—had us winning a game that we actually lost by four runs. His point was that you didn’t really need to keep score; you just had to introspect as to which was the better team and determine the winner.

So, I’m used to being on softball teams that suck; consequently, it was great fun today to be a part of the Bill’s Off-Broadway sponsored team, the Chuggers and Sluggers, because even though we got swept in a doubleheader by the Victory Lounge, we remained competitive throughout.

I pitched and didn’t walk a single batter in either game which, as far as I’m concerned, is mainly what it’s all about as a slowpitch softball hurler; I was a complete bust at the plate, though, going something like 0 for 5 with a couple walks and reaching once on an error.

So be it, though; pitchers aren’t supposed to be good hitters. All I ask is that sometime in the next couple months that I manage to drop a line drive over short and figure out how to stretch a single into a double.

Most importantly, nobody got hurt and all the beer got drunk.

Go Chuggers and Sluggers!