Responsible Citizen

I’m one of those people who consistently behaves responsibly. I complete required tasks on time, show up at the appointed hour, call if I’m going to be late, clean up after myself, pay my bills and taxes, send thank-you notes, and in general, do what I say I’m going to do in the manner I said I would, fulfilling the expectations I’ve set for myself and that others have of me.

Frankly, I’m sick of it.

Of late, I can hardly stand the relentless grind of being good. I fantasize about going on a bender, disappearing from the face of the earth for a spell, blowing off my classes, and just making a mess of things for myself and the people in my life.

Of course, I’m way too responsible to do that.

Even if I were going to freak and act out so uncharacteristically, I’m sure I’d make arrangements beforehand so all the loose ends were covered. I’d find substitutes for my classes and inform my students that I’d be gone for a while. I’d call up the newspaper and have delivery stopped and make sure I’d worked out with my neighbor to take in the mail. My attempts to be irresponsible would no doubt be handled in a tidy, responsible manner.

I’m not even sure what I would do with myself were I to go ahead and blow everything off, anyway. Much as I like bellying-up and bending an elbow as the next guy, I find these days, that I more or less lose my appetite for keeping the party going after a certain hour of the night and definitely after a day or two at most in a row. So, while I might set out with the best intentions of ending up in the gutter, it’s entirely likely that within forty-eight hours at most, I’d be found in the library.

And how irresponsible can you be if you try to post almost every day?