Close Nit Family

We’re sitting around he dinner table last night and the kid says “I think I have lice,” and we’re all like, “No way, that’s just the little kids at your school,” but we take a look anyway, and lo and behold, we see a number of little pediculus capitus wandering around in her hair, so, like anyone faced with problems like this in the 21st century, we get on the internet and read all about it.

But then, we talk to our neighbors, whose kids had them a couple months ago, and a bunch of parents at Mimi’s school, where cooties have been endemic all year.

Of course, Jen and I are relaxed about in on our score, thinking this only happens to kids and are reassured by online information that says it’s mainly in the under-twelve set, but we can’t help but feel itchy, in spite of what reason tells us.

So, we opt to run the nit combs through our own heads and fuckin’ A if we don’t each find a few of the little six-legged creatures wandering about on our own coiffures, so after all these years of being accused of being a nit-picker about one thing or another, now I really am.

The lesson, I guess, is that this can happen to anybody, even conscientiously tidy folks like ourselves. Now, we’ve been vacuuming and clothes-washing and shampooing like crazy the last 24 hours or so and I guess this would be my chance to shave my head if I really wanted to, but I’m thinking maybe I’ll bleach it instead.; if that shit doesn’t kill anything that lives, I don’t know what would.

I remember being in second grade and Kerry March, this kinda grimy kid was taken from the classroom for having head lice; everyone got sent home to have their parents check them out.

My mom just rolled her eyes and did nothing; I wish I could do that, too.