Cycle Slug
Today was one of those occasional times when I take public transit both directions to school. And even though I got my usual short ride to the bus in the morning and a slightly longer one from school to Lake Forest Park where I caught the 522 coming downtown, I still feel like a lazy slug for not riding at least one direction all the way.
I mention this not entirely in a spirit of self-abnegation, but also to explore the phenomenon of feeling dissatisfied with one’s own behavior, especially when it’s simply a matter of not living up to some arbitrary standard that one has set for oneself.
No one cares whether I ride my bike back and/or forth to school except me; if I decide out of laziness, exhaustion, or whatever to hop the bus instead of pedal, why should I feel any remorse?
Moreover, today, I even appealed to my standard rule of not being allowed to wait for the bus (I can only take it if I see it coming); as I came upon Lake Forest Park, the 522 was just pulling up and, as a matter of fact, it took a lucky red light stopping its progress for me to catch the coach.
So, perhaps I can even argue that the universe meant for me to take the easy way home.
To do so, of course, assumes that it makes any difference at all to the universe what I do, a claim which I take as something of a hard sell. It seems far more likely that the planets will go on spinning and the stars shining brightly no matter what I do.
But if that’s the case, then again, it only matters to me whether I’m on the bike or the bus and we’ve already established that if I don’t care, then it shouldn’t matter to me anyway.
Apparently, even though I’m not on my bike, I’m still pedaling in circles.
I mention this not entirely in a spirit of self-abnegation, but also to explore the phenomenon of feeling dissatisfied with one’s own behavior, especially when it’s simply a matter of not living up to some arbitrary standard that one has set for oneself.
No one cares whether I ride my bike back and/or forth to school except me; if I decide out of laziness, exhaustion, or whatever to hop the bus instead of pedal, why should I feel any remorse?
Moreover, today, I even appealed to my standard rule of not being allowed to wait for the bus (I can only take it if I see it coming); as I came upon Lake Forest Park, the 522 was just pulling up and, as a matter of fact, it took a lucky red light stopping its progress for me to catch the coach.
So, perhaps I can even argue that the universe meant for me to take the easy way home.
To do so, of course, assumes that it makes any difference at all to the universe what I do, a claim which I take as something of a hard sell. It seems far more likely that the planets will go on spinning and the stars shining brightly no matter what I do.
But if that’s the case, then again, it only matters to me whether I’m on the bike or the bus and we’ve already established that if I don’t care, then it shouldn’t matter to me anyway.
Apparently, even though I’m not on my bike, I’m still pedaling in circles.
posted by Professor Dave at 6:52 PM
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