Wasting Money

So it turns out I can’t use my non-refundable roundtrip airline tickets from Seattle to Albuquerque. That’s $234.00 down the drain. This to go along with the ninety bucks I recently spent on a pair of pants I’ll never wear and the fifty cents I wasted on a non-working “laser glow” ring from the gumball machine at the supermarket. Money seems to be slipping through my fingers with alarming regularity these days and I’m not exactly sure what that means. Am I to be a conduit for the passing on of funds to those who need and/or desire them more than me? Or do I just have a hole in the proverbial pocket of my pants?

What burns me is not the money itself; it’s the lost alternatives. That $234.00 could have gotten me an awesome lighting system for my bike, one I never would buy because it’s way too expensive. I could have donated that ninety bucks to a community organization that’s been pestering me for years to help them out. I could have given the fifty cents to my daughter so she could waste it herself in a machine of her own choosing.

What this reveals to me again, though, is my tendency to get all exercised about things that don’t exist. Why should I be bummed that I don’t have $234.00 to spend on something I wouldn’t have spent it on anyway? And it seems strange to fret about not having the money to spend when I’d already spent it, doesn’t it?

If I had $234.00 in my wallet and lost it, I’d feel awful, but I’d least I could find some solace in thinking about how happy the person who found it would be. Perhaps I can take similar comfort in the knowledge that executives at Travelocity are smiling at my small contribution to their bottom line.

Maybe then, if I can see this as the price of my education, I’ll feel okay.