Slow News Day
The weather will be chilly and wet in Seattle, except for those brief moments when it isn’t, and most of those will be entirely forgotten by the time locals haven’t seen blue sky and sunshine in more than two weeks.
Teams with the highest payrolls in sports will inevitably finish higher in the standings than those that offer more modest salaries, except in the case of the Seattle Mariners, who seem able to spend way more than anyone else relative to their success in the won-loss department.
Nearly every movie that comes out will feature car crashes, gunshots, and computer-generated mayhem; once in a while someone will produce a film with a script that reveals something interesting and/or poignant about the human condition; no such films, though, will earn as much as a single day’s receipts for James Cameron’s Avatar.
Before the day is out, a dog will bite a man; in all likelihood, that dog will be some form of pit-bull; even more likely, the “man” will be an elderly woman.
Church groups and conservative politicians will be offended by something on television; hateful hate-mongers will monger hate publically but still manage to get people to pay attention to them in spite of being unworthy even of contempt.
Several major corporations will report unprecedented losses on their balance sheets; home sales will decline, unemployment will rise and yet somehow, some hudge-fund managers on Wall Street will make more money in holiday bonuses than most of us will earn in our entire working lives. And no one will really mind.
A B-list celebrity will do something despicable and be made fun of on the internet for a couple of days; a politician will do the same and still get re-elected.
327 words will be written, a few might be read.