Tuesday, March 09, 2010

Drink Up

I love this headline in the Times today:

Women Who Drink Gain Less Weight

Now there’s a diet plan I could get behind. Unfortunately, the study also suggests it doesn’t exactly work that way for men; guys tend to drink AND eat; gals, apparently, drink INSTEAD of eating.

Actually, that should be no surprise; Cosmopolitans don’t go nearly as well with pizza as does beer.

Frankly, I’m skeptical of all of these studies that come out all the time about the relationship between one activity of another and weight gain or loss. Pretty much the only thing that people do that I can imagine makes that much of a difference in whether you pack on the pounds or not is eating.

Here’s my under-funded study’s result: the more food you consume, the more weight you gain. Now make sure and give me a 10 million dollar NSF grant to research that; I’m sure I’ll also find that people who sit around a lot watching television and pounding Cheetos tend to get heavier than those who don’t.

I must say, in defense of the study I started out making fun of, I’ve seen those results in my own life. Sometimes, when I go out bike-riding and beer-drinking, on those nights when we end up somewhere that doesn’t have fried potatoes on the menu, and I spend the entire evening getting all my calories in liquid form, when I weigh myself the next morning, I’m at the lower end of my usual heaviness scale. That’s when I think the all-beer diet could work pretty well.

Unfortunately, those are also usually the days I feel hungover enough that a double-fried egg sandwich and a can of coke make an especially satisfying breakfast and so any slimming effect of the previous night is completely eradicated before lunch the following day.

Not to worry; a couple more drinks and I may not lose weight, but by that time, at least, who cares?


Blogger Deb's Lunch said...

Ahhh, you're just dehydrated after those all-beer nights. My boss calls studies like those that you cite "research that should be published in the journal titled Duh!"

9:32 AM  

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