Sunday, December 13, 2009

Mind Yer Own

Here’s me weighing in on the Tiger Woods “scandal”:

How ‘bout them Steelers, huh?

Oh. I’m supposed to have some opinion on his extra-marital affairs and his unwillingness to come perfectly clean about what happened that night he wrecked his luxury SUV outside his palatial mansion?

Okay: None of my business.

I mean, really, how in the world is it supposed to be any concern to me what he does in his free time—especially when I don’t even really care what he does on the golf course?

And I guarantee you the guy doesn’t owe me, as a member of the public, an apology; maybe he does to his wife, but I’m not even sure about that as I’m not privy to their private domestic agreements; nor do I even want to be.

You want to talk about scandals, that’s fine, but then let’s discuss some dillies, like the Boeing Corporation’s naked attempt at union-busting in their decision to move the Dreamliner assembly to South Carolina or Senator Max Baucus giving his girlfriend a $14,000 raise after they became romantically involved last year.

Athletes are not role models; haven’t Mark McGwire, Michael Vick, Babe Ruth, and no doubt the very first naked discuss thrower in Ancient Greece who ended up still in his competition outfit with one or more of the plebiscite, made this abundantly clear?

Fans of golf, it seems to me, have a right to be upset if the guy cheats on the back nine, but if he uses a mashee when he ought to have been pulling out a niblick in the bedroom, they ought to keep their putters silent, no?

Besides, what do you expect of a guy who all day long at work hears thousands of people yelling at him: “Put it in the hole, Tiger! Put it in the hole!”


But seriously folks, this is no laughing matter; in fact, it’s no matter at all to any of us.


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