Dopey Dopers

I guess you don’t have to be that smart to be a world-class Tour de France racer; or maybe you just have to believe that you’re invincible and different from mere mortals (which may be true); but one thing seems sure: you either have to believe that you alone aren’t likely to be caught by the systems for catching riders who use banned performance-enhancing drugs and techniques or else you must really just want to get caught, perhaps so you don’t have to keep suffering day after day in the saddle up the Alps and the Pyrenees.

Today the news is that Alexandre Vinokourov, one of the pre-race favorites, winner of this year’s stage 13 individual time trial and yesterday’s mountain stage 15, tested positive for homologous blood-doping and has, along with his team, Astana, withdrawn from the Tour.

This follows in the wake of allegations against Tour leader, Michael Rasmussen, who has been dropped from the Danish national team for missing two random controls run by the Danish anti-doping agency earlier this year.

So, while I’m still a fan of the tour—and especially Rasmussen, who at 5’9” and 130 pounds is probably one of the smallest men in all of Denmark but still a fucking animal on the bike, particularly up hills—I’m reminded, in all of this that, when it comes to bikes, I really like cycling a lot better than cyclists, a point I’ve certainly made before and probably in writing, too.

I tend to forget that even though bike-riding is ineluctably wonderful, not everybody who rides a bike is nearly so cool. Lots of creeps, liars, and cheaters can be found on two wheels, and although the percentage of them is probably way less than you’ll run across behind the wheel of a Hummer, it’s still significant.

The thing is, I’m not even sure I mind if riders cheat; I just think they should have to admit it without complaint when they get caught.