Office Chair Downhill 2007
There I was, at 50 years old, never having won a race in my life—until last night, when I totally smoked the field in the modified class of the Dead Baby-sponsored Office Chair Downhill 2007, taking first place by half a block and winning a brand-new Ultegra rear derailleur in the process.
Mimi and I spent the afternoon modifying a skateboard with an office chair back and seat to create a vehicle we called the “Assburner,” which turned out to be remarkably stable and fast, and most importantly, relatively safe. (Our primary design requirement was that it be low to the ground so that falls off would be short.)
Then, we loaded it up on the tandem (another plus was that it could be carried on the bike) and headed over to Boren and Fairview where a large pile of office chairs indicated the race’s starting line.
We hung around admiring the rides other folks were using; some, notably a comfy recliner bolted to a plywood sheet with casters, showed genuine creativity and attention to detail.
The race competition was broken down into several heats. Ours, the undercard, featured four or five oddball contraptions, the Assburner by far the most aerodynamically efficient. In fact, I finished so far ahead of the field, that I ran halfway back up the course and rode down again in the lead, essentially winning the same race twice.
The main event saw about a dozen or so guys, and perhaps a girl or two, sitting in and falling out of office chairs in a free-for-all demolition derby down the hill. This was run in several heats, each one, as the racers refilled their water bottles from the nearby keg of beer, increasingly raucous.
The overall winner was as fearless as he was crazy, launching his chair with a prodigious run, like a bobsledder starting down the course. But no broken bones, and a handmade wheelset from Mobius Cycles for the win.
Mimi and I spent the afternoon modifying a skateboard with an office chair back and seat to create a vehicle we called the “Assburner,” which turned out to be remarkably stable and fast, and most importantly, relatively safe. (Our primary design requirement was that it be low to the ground so that falls off would be short.)
Then, we loaded it up on the tandem (another plus was that it could be carried on the bike) and headed over to Boren and Fairview where a large pile of office chairs indicated the race’s starting line.
We hung around admiring the rides other folks were using; some, notably a comfy recliner bolted to a plywood sheet with casters, showed genuine creativity and attention to detail.
The race competition was broken down into several heats. Ours, the undercard, featured four or five oddball contraptions, the Assburner by far the most aerodynamically efficient. In fact, I finished so far ahead of the field, that I ran halfway back up the course and rode down again in the lead, essentially winning the same race twice.
The main event saw about a dozen or so guys, and perhaps a girl or two, sitting in and falling out of office chairs in a free-for-all demolition derby down the hill. This was run in several heats, each one, as the racers refilled their water bottles from the nearby keg of beer, increasingly raucous.
The overall winner was as fearless as he was crazy, launching his chair with a prodigious run, like a bobsledder starting down the course. But no broken bones, and a handmade wheelset from Mobius Cycles for the win.
posted by Professor Dave at 1:23 PM
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