Pays To Be A Kid
Is this bad parenting?
Last night, the kid started whining because Jen and I were going out without her to Chris Badgely’s 40th birthday party. She was going to be spending the evening next door with her best friend, same as she’d be doing if we were here.
We’d gone from empathizing with to poo-pooing to being frustrated and annoyed by her complaints, and so, in an effort to move through what seemed to me, anyway, to be an impasse, I offered to pay the kid a small self-babysitting fee for the time we’d be out. Not the full rate we’d pay someone to watch her, but a token to make it worth her while.
This did, at least, initially, have the desired effect; whining stopped, we moved on. Mimi and I drew up a contract that stipulated that the party of the first party (hereafter Mom and Dad) would agree to pay the party of the second party (hereafter Mimi) 2 dollars an hour for each hour that both parents were out and 1 dollar an hour for each hour that one parent was out. (I planned on staying at the party later than Jen.)
Now, while this (again, at least initially) solved the problem, the question arises as to whether or not by paying the kid to do what she ought to do willingly, I was sending the wrong signals and teaching her values that I myself don’t even endorse.
I think the lesson was that it’s not unreasonable to be compensated monetarily for doing something you don’t want to. However, arguably, I was teaching her that if you whine enough, your dad will cave in to your demands for cash.
I was hoping that by paying her, I was mocking the capitalist value system and exposing its fundamental absurdity. On the other hand, what if I were reinforcing the very values I was trying to mock?
You tell me: what’s a parent to do?
Last night, the kid started whining because Jen and I were going out without her to Chris Badgely’s 40th birthday party. She was going to be spending the evening next door with her best friend, same as she’d be doing if we were here.
We’d gone from empathizing with to poo-pooing to being frustrated and annoyed by her complaints, and so, in an effort to move through what seemed to me, anyway, to be an impasse, I offered to pay the kid a small self-babysitting fee for the time we’d be out. Not the full rate we’d pay someone to watch her, but a token to make it worth her while.
This did, at least, initially, have the desired effect; whining stopped, we moved on. Mimi and I drew up a contract that stipulated that the party of the first party (hereafter Mom and Dad) would agree to pay the party of the second party (hereafter Mimi) 2 dollars an hour for each hour that both parents were out and 1 dollar an hour for each hour that one parent was out. (I planned on staying at the party later than Jen.)
Now, while this (again, at least initially) solved the problem, the question arises as to whether or not by paying the kid to do what she ought to do willingly, I was sending the wrong signals and teaching her values that I myself don’t even endorse.
I think the lesson was that it’s not unreasonable to be compensated monetarily for doing something you don’t want to. However, arguably, I was teaching her that if you whine enough, your dad will cave in to your demands for cash.
I was hoping that by paying her, I was mocking the capitalist value system and exposing its fundamental absurdity. On the other hand, what if I were reinforcing the very values I was trying to mock?
You tell me: what’s a parent to do?
posted by Professor Dave at 3:50 PM
2 Comments:
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
I clearly remember our parents paying us an hourly wage to be in charge of ourselves when they were out - it wasn't the same as babysitting, because we were too close in age for one of us to supervise the other - they paid us to do the right thing, mostly to not hurt each other, while they were gone.
the big sister
Post a Comment
<< Home